by Scott Hoge
(Click here to download this essay)
Here, you will find many shocking ideas presented, some of them on the matter of peculiar coincidences that have happened to me. You will hear buzz words and phrases like 'government conspiracy,' 'mind-control,' and 'idea of reference', and some of you will think, "This guy's delusional!" In truth, however, these are only speculations about what might have happened, and even then, only about what is possible from my point of view.
I want every reader to guard himself or herself against the temptation to let these buzz words and phrases signal delusion, as they do not. A few of the ideas I present will, at first, appear so bizarre and otherworldly that some will be inclined to discount them outright, perhaps due to prejudice or fear of ostracism. Nevertheless, in the pursuit of truth and happiness, we must avoid groupthink in favor of rational argument. An entire crowd could attack my views, but it wouldn't mean I was wrong. To assess their truth, falsity, possibility, or impossibility, one must observe them closely and give thoughtful consideration.
In challenging my statements, some people might even choose to hurl insults as an alternative to offering polite objections. They'd say things like, "He's paranoid. He's a psychopath. He doesn't know what he's talking about." They'd mention various labels I've been branded with by the psychiatric community, as if they proved that my ideas had no merit. They might even stoop to worse insults. In that case, I strongly encourage the innocent recipients of these vulgar ad hominem attacks not to be swayed by their fallacies. I have written this essay in advance to settle the dispute before it starts.
Due to their horrific content, some of these essays might even be censored. If so, then we will know that the American government is attempting to hide knowledge from the public -- possibly to the torment of less fortunate citizens. Look at it this way: if my statements were easily rebuked, why would they need to censor them?
1. I am not delusional.
I'm not asking you to trust anything I tell you. After reading my essays, I want you to think things through for yourself. I'm not telling you that the scenarios I outline are actually real, either. To repeat, I only know that they are possible from my point of view. As I explain in one of these essays, Expected Reward and Psychosis, one must never confuse having a delusion with acknowledging a possibility.
You may wonder what I mean by 'possible from my point of view.' The probabilities and possibilities that certain claims about the world are true vary from person to person. If it's raining in Michigan but I'm not there to see it, then the likelihood from my point of view that it's raining there will be closer to 10-20%, but to someone living in Michigan it will be 100%. Similarly, from my point of view, the likelihood that the government is sabotaging me (perhaps out of fear that I will make certain facts plainly known) is higher than you'd expect, but from the government's point of view, the likelihood may be zero (or, if they really are that cruel, 100%).
2. I am not a psychopath.
My essays also contain a large quantity of writing on the subjects of pain, murder, and violence. I have made no threats, but I have written in defense of certain people whose motives have been trivialized and strawmanned. One of my purposes in this writing is to raise awareness about what actually causes them to commit their acts of murder and examine several possible solutions to the problem. In light of both my defense of these people (from bad arguments) and my expressed anger, one might even go so far as to call me a psychopath. However, I am not a psychopath in any extreme sense: I have only been brutally ostracized from a young age and made to live through almost unbearable suffering in protection of both myself and the subgroups of humanity I care about. At times, the sheer intensity of my suffering, combined with the obnoxious sadism that flows throughout contemporary American culture, has given me certain attitudes toward certain people, but I still insist that I am not a psychopath.
The word 'psychopath' actually has two definitions. One of them is relatively mild and could apply to as much as one tenth of the population. The other is connoted with a lack of empathy or ability to appreciate the feelings of others, even if hidden behind superficial charm or outward friendliness. The only reassurance I can give you is that my appreciation of your feelings lies in my deeds. You may not trust me so readily, but at least I'm being nice to you.
(In case you were interested, the word 'psychopath' has etymological roots that mean 'to suffer in breathing,' as if the threat of criminal action weren't scary enough.)
3. I am not a masochist.
No matter what anyone tells you, I do not enjoy my suffering or my anger. This fallacy, perhaps committed even by the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, I call the Fallacy of Attributing Enjoyment, and would be one of the chief weapons and intellectual blunders used against the victims of a society of torturers.
Nor may one affirm the consequent on the grounds that I show isolated or conspicuous behaviors loosely associated with masochism. Being bullied over an extended period of time might change one's habits or inclinations, but that does not mean that such habits or inclinations were desired in the first place, or that one would like to continue being bullied -- any more than screaming when kidnapped would imply that the victim wanted to be placed in a circumstance in which he or she could legitimately scream for help. This I would call the Fallacy of the Unconditional Motive.
Conclusion
I am not your tell-tale victim of delusional psychosis, a psychopath, or a masochist. I hope you will steer clear of these accusations. The events I will describe really happened to me, and the explanations I give of them are merely hypotheses formulated on limited knowledge of the incidents. I'm not asking you to believe that any of these explanations are true. On the other hand, if you give them thought, you will discover that they might be.
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